My child was diagnosed of Global Development Delay Ruled out Autism and it makes may heart broke even though I expect the diagnosis from the Development Pediatrician. Global development delay means that my son will not be able to reach his milestone. Before the evaluation came, I already read articles about my son’s condition and these articles points out that my son may have autism. At first, I do not know anything about autism and when I read about autism signs and symptoms. I feel scared because I notice my son’s disrupting behavior such as flapping when excited, tantrums in public place, not recognizing his name and not identifying us are match the symptoms of autism. I feel so stress and depress, I was not able to get sleep because I blame myself about my son’s condition. I also read articles about the causes of autism such as environmental factors, lack of folic acid during pregnancy, stress during pregnancy, etc. I always think the possible cause of my son’s condition so more and more I feel depress. I asked God, why this happen to my son. How about the future of my son? How can we finance the treatment for my son? Is there a cure for autism? Is there is a way to reverse autism? These are the question of my mind.
Everyday for us is a struggle because I see my son grows differently among other kids with his same age. I feel mixed emotion, worry, sadness, stress, anger, jealous, and pain. Worry for my son’s future, sadness because of his current situation, stress because of financial needs for my son’s treatment, jealous because I can’t go out anytime, upset because I can no longer take care of myself and pain because there are times that I blame myself.
After a month of sadness, my husband told me that stressing myself cannot change the situation so it is better for us to accept my son’s condition and come up with the best help for my son. I learn that I should accept it and pray to give me patience to deal with my son. My love with my son should be big than anything else. Thank you for my husband for his ever ending support.
I can say that acceptance is the best to deal with my situation. I this way, I can think the ways to improve my son’s condition. Find help from parents with my same situation. Other ways to accept it is to trust our Lord and believe that He has a purpose for happening this to our lives.
Now, I enjoy the company of my son but of course, there are times that I feel sad because I was not be able to go out with my friends anytime. But I always hope that the time will come that my son will improve his situation and live his life to the fullest through proper intervention and right therapy.